My worst characteristics

   You probably think this is going to be a negative post. To an extent, yes. But this week's post is more about acceptance. We all have aspects of our physicality and personality that we dislike.

   However, what I have come to learn is that the traits we hate are not necessarily disliked by those around us. I would even go as far to say that what we would define as our worst traits are often loved the most by others because they are an integral part of what characterises us.

   I will demonstrate by listing some of - what I believe - are my worst traits.

My Freckles

   I am never really happy with my face unless I am wearing make-up, which is quite sad really. The primary reason for this is because of my freckles; they just seem to be multiplying all the time! Some people really suit freckles but I just don't think I am one of them so I try to conceal them with foundation. I always wish for clear skin.

   What surprises me, on the other hand, is that I have received compliments on more than one occasion about my freckles - it baffles me every time! I just cannot see their beauty on me but I'm glad some people do.

Anxiety

   This is something that has plagued my life and defined a lot of the person I am today. I used to be bullied by a group of girls from another school as I waited for my school bus every day. That's a story for another time but it had a substantial effect on me. I could not leave the house by myself for three years and, every time I saw a gang of teenagers out in public, I instantly felt nauseous. It also made me very afraid to speak to people without the fear of being judged and hated.

   Things have improved a lot as I have grown, of course. However, that fear still resides within me in the form of social awkwardness, defensiveness, being easily intimidated by established friendship groups and the need to distance myself from those who gang up on individuals.

   Accepting this, I have since realised that it has helped me to recognise pack-mentality when I see it so I can remove myself from it as soon as I am able. 

It takes me a long time to heal

   I really wish it didn't. It would save me a tonne of heartache. One day, I would be 100% convinced that I have come to terms with something then, months later, I'd be laying awake getting upset about it again even if said person/people being the root cause of my hurt have long left my life. 

   I don't have difficulty accepting bad things that have happened. I just have a very hard time letting go of them, which makes it so much more complex. Sometimes, I see peers interacting with people who they know have been toxic to them and it makes me wonder, how on earth can you do that? I couldn't. With me, once that trust is gone, it's never there again. 

   On the bright side, this does work to my advantage by helping me avoid certain situations, repeating mistakes and it sends out the message that - once a person has done me wrong - I am never going to give that person a chance to do so again.

Height

   I don't hate my height but, sometimes, it causes me a lot of frustration. For instance, I get patronised a lot and often don't get taken seriously when I'm angry because my height - or lack of thereof - makes me less intimidating. It's also very easy for me to get left behind because, unless I'm jogging, I find it very difficult to catch up with my long-legged friends. Not to mention, it works as a huge disadvantage to me in team sports. 

   Despite these fallbacks, my height can work to my advantage. I can wear heels and still be smaller than most people, I get piggybacks, massive hugs and it has often worked as an effective conversation starter!

   Of course, I have many more flaws but these four are my biggest insecurities. I am completely okay with putting them out there because I have accepted these and not all people are going to think they are as terrible as I believe them to be.

   In fact, you probably read through them thinking, me too or that's not bad. Now, visualise your biggest insecurities and I guarantee there will be lots of people out there who will have similar reactions to the ones you had on my post. Suddenly, it doesn't seem so bad, does it? 

   This post was inspired by many conversations I have had with close friends. It still takes me aback some of the things they hate about themselves, whether it is their curves or their straight talking attitude (LOVE these).

 It just goes to show that for every thing you dislike in yourself, someone else will adore it. 

What do you not like about yourself and why would people argue that it is actually not so bad?

Let me know in the comments below!