Spilled Ink

Armed with nothing but my ball point pen,

I pour my heart out onto the paper as if it was spilled ink.

Once white with purity, innocence and bliss then

Tainted by countless black scars that make my spirits sink.

They drown in the sea of unspoken words

That are yet to announce themselves on the parchment before me

But they escape me like fleeting birds.

I cry and crumple the paper as it protests with a crackling plea.

After a few moments, I straighten it out again

But I know it will never be the same.

My soul is exposed and all of my pain.

What was once a fierce fire

of my passion and desire
is now an extinguished flame.

Out and About: London Day Trip

Even after downing several shots of Archers and Baileys (confidence juice), my frail attempts at making a video last Friday night amounted to nothing! Immediately, I began to brainstorm new ideas hoping that I could salvage something in time to upload that night. I hated inconsistency. When I began vlogging, I knew what I was letting myself in for. I've only been observing other bloggers do it since I was twelve years old. The thought of letting myself down only a fortnight into it was almost unbearable.

However, like the flick of a switch, an idea occurred to me. The very next day, my friend Holly and I planned to spend the entirety of it in London. I could vlog the entire trip! I was already glowing in excitement at the prospect of this.

The ensuing morning was, regrettably, a late one. However, once we were on the tube to central London, the elation set in. As I lived in Northamptonshire, I never got to familiarise myself with the bustling city but now that I am staying on a university campus in west London, I have countless opportunities. Holly could not wait to show me the sights.

Our first stop was at Harrods, which - much to Holly's dismay - I had never visited before. The remarkable building was about just as lit up as our expressions as we feasted our eyes on the festive displays. We stepped inside and were completely taken aback by our own exhilaration. It was every make-up enthusiast's dream! Like a magnet, I was instantaneously drawn to the MAC cosmetics department. I purchased a MAC warm neutral eyeshadow palette, a Diva matte lipstick and, finally, a Velvet Teddy matte lipstick for my mum's birthday. (She always used to borrow mine!) 

Exploring the department store was so much fun even though we had to refrain from making further purchases; that wouldn't be the smartest idea for broke students! The prices were indeed tremendous. It was a wonder anyone could consider it a chore to shop at Harrods; to me, it's a dream! My favourite parts were the Princess Diana tribute statue, the tea room and, of course, Christmas land! There was an assortment of trees complete with beautiful decorations; I wanted to buy them all! Whilst we were waiting in the queue to make our purchases, the classic Mariah Carey's All I want for Christmas Is You started playing and I could not help but sing along even though I did get a few weird looks. Most of which I received from Holly. 

Across the street from Harrods was a colossal TopShop, which is one of my favourite stores so going there was definitely a must. By then, I already obtained a lot of footage for my vlog but, unfortunately, I was stopped by security in store. We looked around upstairs and I caught sight of the most gorgeous black suede over-the-knee heeled boots. I've wanted a pair for quite a while now but I was disheartened yet again by the price. One day, Meg, one day! 

Our next stop was to get food so we promptly found a Costa where they were serving some scrumptious Christmas treats and drinks. I settled for a cheese and tomato toastie with crisps and a toasted marshmallow hot chocolate topped with whipped cream and cinnamon. The drink was delicious and I would certainly recommend it to any Costa fans out there! 

After our little lunch break, we headed straight back to the tube station so we could get to Waterloo before dark. I was the most excited for our next destination: the London Eye. When we emerged from the station, we first noticed the range of beautiful bars and clubs that lined the streets. They looked like great places to dine at so we mentally noted that down for future reference. After making a wrong turn on the pier, we stumbled upon a very odd encounter: two men arguing about walking into one another on the steps. Much to my astonishment and amusement, we saw them again when we came back down the steps only - this time - they obstinately remained in their positions, refusing to move out of each other's way. The human race never fails to surprise me! 

Briefly after we bought our tickets, we were pointed to a dark room where a short 4D film was due to take place. When it did, it blew me away. Holly had already been to visit the London Eye in the past so she knew what to expect but, for me, this was a completely new experience I would never forget. The effects were so real; I don't want to spoil it for anyone who wishes to see it for themselves. On the other hand - I must say - when someone in the film blew bubbles, I was not expecting one to actually pop in my face! 

By the time we joined the winding queue to get on the London eye, the sky was jet black and speckled with stars. Thankfully, the queue progressed quite fast so it was not long before we staggered into the clear slow moving pod. When our height was peaking at the colossal wheel, I was gobsmacked by the sights before me. I towered above all of the buildings I marvelled at earlier and the skyline was alight with fireworks as it was Bonfire Night; we could not have picked a better time to do this! I captured some pictures and videos to use for the vlog later and to show my family. Below me, boats cruised down the River Thames and the bright clock face of Big Ben reflected off the rippling water. I literally felt like I was on top of the world - well, London anyway! I felt very accomplished when I got off (or rather tripped off) because going on the London Eye had been on my bucket list so this was a big deal for me.

To round off the night, we decided to assuage our appetites by visiting China Town in Leicester Square. There were lots of restaurants to choose from and the aromas lured us to so many windows. It was a bit of a pain to locate a cash point, which is required because a lot of these places only accept cash. (There is one situated opposite M&M world - you're welcome.) We soon managed to locate a restaurant that offered an all you can eat deal for a mere seven pounds. Holly and I piled up our plates high but the pressure was on to clean them completely because it turned out they charged you for any leftovers to prevent wastage. By the time we were done, we were fit to burst! What a delightful way to end the night; Chinese food is my favourite food after all.

It was fair to say, we were pretty worn out by the time we hopped back on the tube. A full stomach never fails to make me tired. What did manage to snap me out of my drowsiness was our odd encounter with a man, who seemed to have had a little bit too much too drink. I vividly remember him saying, "Seeing you young beautiful girls really gets me thinking about the world. It's quite literally screwed." He went on to talk about World War Three and conspiracy theories much to mine and Holly's bemusement. We were able to laugh about the whole awkward ordeal later although, admittedly, I do love a good conspiracy theory.

The evening came to a frustrating close after I said my goodbyes to Holly and I filmed myself concluding my vlog. I wanted to kickstart my editing so I transferred all of the day's footage from my phone to my laptop only to find that the videos were extremely bad quality when enlarged. What did I expect? How could I be so naive as to think I could film a good quality video on my phone? These critical thoughts cast a dark cloud over my mind and I sat for a while on my bed in consternation. I was really looking forward to creating that video. 

Life does go on, however. At the end of the day, I still made memories to reflect on with my friends and family and I also managed to take some lovely pictures to share with you on my blog. I will eventually be able to afford a good quality camera but, in the meantime, I shall stick to filming videos on my webcam in my room. All YouTubers start small, right? If you are reading this now, I hope you will stick around for the long journey ahead.

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Review: We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves by Karen Joy Fowler

Overall Rating: ★★★★☆           Difficulty Rating: ★★★☆☆

In what can only be described as one of the biggest plot twists of all time, Karen Joy Fowler’s ‘We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves’ explores the traumatic life of Rosemary Cooke, whose childhood was transformed into an extraordinary experiment by her psychologist father.

Throughout the novel, we are thrust back in time to 1970s Indiana when Rosemary was but a little girl, who could talk the hind legs off a donkey and was inseparable from her sister, Fern. She also adored her older brother, Lowell, who always looked out for her at school. One day, Rosemary’s world was turned upside down when she was mysteriously sent away to stay with her Grandparents. Convinced she was abandoned by her parents for her motormouth, she blamed herself but, in a sudden turn of events, she was returned home only to find that her beloved Fern was gone.

Rosemary has since condemned herself for her sister’s disappearance and her family’s ensuing breakdown when her brother, Lowell, ran away from home to pursue the criminal lifestyle of an animal rights activist in protest to his father’s work on animals.

We hear the story from the perspective of twenty-two year old Rosemary, who is now ploughing through her fifth year at the University of California. There, she befriends the loose cannon and ‘Fern substitute’, Harlow. Rosemary is determined to be deemed normal and not “the monkey girl” as she was often referred to at school and so she puts aside her advanced vocabulary and refrains from telling her story, which would be guaranteed to silence any room. However, her normality is once again interrupted when someone from her past gets in touch. Was she really to blame for Fern being sent away?

Fowler’s impressive non chronological narrative will keep you on your toes as you, along with Rosemary, attempt to piece together her past to determine what truly happened when Fern vanished from her family’s lives. You will laugh, you will smile and you may even shed a tear as you embark on Rosemary’s journey to self discovery and wake up to the cruel realities of animal experimentation.

Overall, Fowler’s novel was a gripping and heartrending read, which touches on the long effects of parenting on a child and other issues that are still all too relevant today.